Are you passionate about your life?
My final goal in life is to write for a living. And I love travelling (click here to find out why), so I wanted to be a travel writer. But first, to fulfill the criteria of travel, I need more money.
So I started working in a board games cafe, where for most part of my job, I talk to people. I teach people to play games. Boy did I love that job. I spent most of my waking no-classes hours at that cafe. I loved working there so much that I helped the owner promoted that cafe to my friends. I don’t want the cafe to end. I want it to thrive and to succeed, with me working with it. To me then, it’s a triple win situation! I get to do something I love, which is talking to people; I get money to fund my ultimate life goal; I get meaning in my life.
But sooner or later, it gets old. Day in and day out, I was doing the same thing. Although different customers come in, I couldn’t help but to think that they are the same as the last ones who came in. Instead of talking to those customers genuinely like I did for the earlier customers, I became short-tempered. I talk in clipped tones and went in a straight-to-the-point, no nonsense approach. I kept it clinical. I stop wanting to know them. That’s when I knew, I’ve lost passion for this job.
It’s just a job, they say. I’m not at fault for losing my passion- plenty of people does that, they say. A job is only a means of survival and us humans are just gears grinding away in a larger clock. It doesn’t matter if we love the job or not. As long as the clock is running, no one cares. As long as we can put food on the table, we shouldn’t care either. Life goes on, whether you like it or not.
But lately, upon contemplation (psychology students like to think too much haha), I’ve come to realize that I care. I’m one of those people that are always searching for the deeper meaning. If I allow myself to waste time in a job in which I don’t care deeply for, then who am I to blame? It’s my doing. I allow myself to slack off. I allow my stress and these negative feelings to get the better of me. It’s my fault for letting my passion for life slip away. I am responsible for myself.
I wish my story can have a happy ending once I’ve realized that. I really wish I could tell you guys that I’ve found passion for my job and my life again and my life is all roses and flowers now. But life doesn’t work that way. Once passion is lost, it takes a long time to get it back. I lost my passion for writing once and it has taken me about 4-5 years to revive this passion. I don’t know if I’ll ever recover passion for this job, but I’m trying hard here. I try to be grateful that I have a good boss that is willing to take care of me and my welfare. Most importantly, I try to keep my final life goal in mind and be grateful that I am now on the road to realize my dream.
To be passionate about life is truly a skill to learn. In a world where positivity is seen as naivete, it’s difficult to remember how being passionate feels. Everyone keep telling you that it’s normal to feel normal, that it is conceited to feel special or that you’re meant for a specific purpose. Everyone kept telling you to be realistic and that passion is just a hobby or an escape from real life (that’s what people tell me about travelling) or is just a myth that 20 year olds dream up.
I’m here to tell you that you’re special and you’re meant for something. There is no passion in living small; if you feel like you’re meant for something bigger, go for it. I believe that everyone is capable of extraordinary things and your passion you’re feeling may just be an indicated of what you’re meant to be. So I’m gonna be the little voice to tell you: follow your dreams and follow your heart. You can do it!
I’ve told you my dreams and passion. What’s yours? Let’s talk and see what we can do about it! Cheers!
P/S: I’m not asking you to quit your job ah. Please don’t blame me hahha